Gone, but not forgotten.

I think about the life i have, the people around me and the love that they share with me. I have lost few who i would have been happy to see right now, i have so much love to give and its still within me. I look at life and wonder, what it would be like if those that i loved were still here. I wish everyone can love the way i do.

Why is it that life is so easily taken away, you bare the burden of those you love and dont get the chance to understand them.  I often say to myself that i want my loved ones back, but i know they can’t come back. When i see identical twins i often picture what it would be like to have mine with me. I picture the mischief that we would be up to, i picture us smiling and just being together. It makes me cry when i think like that, even writing this now i feel to cry. I have lost my soulmate. Everytime people ask do you have any siblings, i often say i have a twin i still feel like she is still her, rightnext to me. Losing someone is not easy to forget especially if they had a part of you.

This poem really got to me, it perfectly describes how i feel everytime i think of her.

Constantly thinking,
never to be the same,
the tears fall quickly
just hearing your name.

Silence is golden
yet not anymore
silence brings thoughts
I just can’t ignore.

The nights are sleepless,
dreams out of reach.
Crying in my pillow
to you I beseech.

Surrounded by family,
I still feel alone.
My heart is so empty,
this pain I must own.

I wish I could hug you
and just see your face.
But now I have memories
to stand in your place.

Gone but not forgotten,
that’s what they say.
Of course that is true
but if only you could of stayed.

I wonder what she would have been like, what she would have studied. I know she is looking down at me from up above but i still want her here. I feel an empty hole within me that cannot be filled. I feel a loose that i can not forget. I feel dragged down everyday. I try to show a brave face everyday this facade that i put up. To others i am this crazy, bubbly person who’s laugh is so infectious and can make others smile or laugh. I don’t like showing my true emotions, i know its not good to keep all things like this within you and i pray that i just don’t erupt one day.

I lost a sister, brother and a mother. I never forgot them, they are always with me.

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